As a FTWM (Full Time Working Mum), my schedule has been insane these past few weeks and I've been super busy especially this week. When I finally had some time to spare, I decided to bring Lil X to MBS for a walk. We passed by a toy shop and this little swimming frog caught his eye and got him so so excited! As you know, my little guy has mastered the art of communicating his desires quite well now. In fact, it amazes me how much he communicates without even uttering a word yet. And if you take time to notice, we really often read the unsaid so much more than what comes out of one another's mouth!
Anyway... In the midst of him playing excitedly, he looked up to me with his pleading puppy eyes. And in that moment our eyes met, a giant irrational monster in me shot through the roof! Probably from all the guilt of my busy week, which hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe it was the sudden realization that this had been the only hour of my whole week where I could give him my undivided attention. Or that I hadn't been the one putting him to bed the last few nights in a row... But I had to seriously restraint myself from barking out these thoughts in that split second:
"Where's the salegirl, i need her NOW! My baby NEEDS everything he lays his eye upon! In fact, just give me ALL the frogs that your store carries coz I NEED to build a pond of dem' for my Lil X!!!!"
Sigh... I realized that stepping into 'Mummy Territory', this would probably be one of the things I'll constantly have to battle with in the next few (or rather, many) years, ya?
Well, it took quite awhile before the rational part of me entered the ring and fought back with sensibility considering how expensive that little amphibian was! There's for sure gonna be days where I'll spoil him rotten and buy him something ridiculously extravagant just because. But hopefully, it'll be out of love rather than guilt!